I check the stats for this site periodically to see how people found it and what they’re searching for when they do. I recently saw that someone did a search for the phrase “how to tell someone their perfume is irritating.” This is a toughie because you don’t want to offend anybody. The problem is your fear of hurting someone’s feelings is actually hurting you physically.

If it’s someone you know you could quietly let them know that you enjoy their company but with your allergies or asthma some fragrances are very irritating to your airways and ask if they could tone it down or possibly forgo the perfume when you’re going to be getting together. If they’re a good friend and care about you they should respect your request and not want to hurt you. If they don’t seem to understand let them know that you find it difficult to breathe and you’re having problems for a several days or more afterwards. Some people just don’t understand how something as innocent as perfume can irritate airways and cause them to become tight.

If it’s someone you don’t know well you could avoid any situation that involves them. You may miss out on some fun but isn’t it better to be able to breath than eat at a certain restaurant.

I have asthma and I have a problem with a lot of fragrances. I don’t wear perfume for that reason. I do shower gels and body lotions. My husband had a cologne when we first met that really got me to wheezing and coughing. He asked me to get him cologne that I could tolerate for Christmas. Now that’s all he wears.

Some people have problems with cleaning solutions. When I worked at the hospital we had a regular patient that had a sign on her door for housekeeping. They could not use anything stronger than water when cleaning her room. I also remember a patient in pediatric intensive care. That poor kid was on a continuous nebulizer for two days before we could start giving him treatments every 2 hours. One of the doctors who the nurses nicknamed Dr. Colognie because of the cologne he wore was on call and he started to come in to see the patient. The nurses stopped him at the door and told him he was going to have to see the patient long distance or take a shower before they’d allow him into the unit. Of course the doctor was offended but the nurses stood their ground. It was better to offend the doctor than have the patient rebound and go back on continuous nebulizers or worse, a respirator.

I have also asked people not to smoke around me. I do not allow smoking in my home or car and I will not subject myself to passive smoke when out with friends. If one of my friends smoke and very few of them do, they sill go outside when they light up.

Don’t be afraid to speak up if something is hurting you. It’s better to loose a friend than loose your life.